Rocky Mountains and Getting High

So, before we go any further let’s all check our judgement at the door or at least let me explain that at this point in my trip we were 3000 miles in, had 3 trailer breakdowns and spent a weekend with my Mother-in-law who probably wishes an “Airstream” was some type of rocket propelled device, developed by NASA that could remove me from this world and drop me into another universe far far away. Would wine cut it? Yeah, probably but I was in Colorado, this magical and beautiful land where the scenery is stunning and weed is legal so you know, F** it, why not? Now, while I wish I had some crazy “moms gone wild” tale to entertain you with, I don’t but I will let you in on my few days of high flying on vacation for two reasons; 1. It was really freaking fun and 2. It is kind of easy to overdo it especially if you are a lightweight like me who hasn’t even seen a joint in like 15 years.  For real, if that sounds like you read up on this stuff before going all Rocky Mountain high on your next Colorado vacation. Google is your friend and hit up a dispensary with helpful and knowledgeable staff.

On our way to Colorado, I ran it by my husband first. It’s not like I need his permission to live my life or anything but someone needs to be responsible and sober for our kid and well that would be him. He can’t partake at all in any shape or form (even though it is legal where we were vacationing this is a serious non-negotiable for him so I would be partaking alone) and I felt it would be a little unfair to not run this by him and get his ok. Once I got the “green light” from him (pun intended…like what I did there?) and we were cool I looked up the dispensaries in town and found a nice one with a daily happy hour special on edibles. Party on, friends…

At first, I felt kind of weird about it. Seriously, I don’t know a thing about marijuana or edibles. I can count on one hand how many times I have smoked it and I’m pretty sure I didn’t even do that right back in the day because I just don’t like the activity of smoking. It’s not my thing. I’m unfamiliar with really being high and yet here I was at 35 years old, super basic, RV traveling, #blessed, stay-at-home mom in her overpriced yoga pants perusing a “menu” that ranged from gummies to chocolate, vapes to um… “intimate oils.” That’s a thing y’all and apparently ladies, you can get high through your lady superhighway. Where was that shit in the delivery room, huh? Anyway! Needless to say, I felt a little out of place.

I picked a dispensary and stopped by for their happy hour. I opened the door and was like hot damn…that smell takes me back, handed this super nice and helpful woman my I.D. and she took me through another door and into the shop. Guys, this was the most pleasant shopping experience I have had in ages and I have a thing for over-priced active wear. The store was nicer than an Apple store, with printed menus on the counters, products for display, merchandise and clean and modern branding. The woman was beyond helpful and knowledgeable. She recommended to me some chocolate and gummies and since I was a first timer explained to me how the dosage works. These edibles had a dosage of 10 milligrams per piece and she recommended I start out with 5 milligrams. Heed these recommendations, my friends. These people know what they are talking about.

The first night I decided I would go with a piece of chocolate and I would wait until around dinnertime. It can take a few hours to really get into your system and I wasn’t looking to get crunk any earlier than that because ya know…kids, mom life, etc. I popped a half of a piece of maple pecan, THC infused chocolate into my mouth and yup exactly as predicted I started feeling the effects after dinner right when I was ready to relax in some hot springs. Ahhh..perfection. OMG friends, I had the most glorious evening a tired, traveling mom could ask for. The high from this chocolate started off slow. I felt it start working a little over an hour after I ate it and it started with this overall calm, happy, a little giggly kind of feeling. The sun was down, I put on my bathing suit and headed out to soak in the springs, relaxing, enjoying the cool evening and the stars and this newfound high I was totally digging. By the time I hit my second pool I was HIGH…I was chilled out and I was loving life.

Honestly, it felt good. I felt good. It was an amazing way to unwind and just disconnect  while still physically enjoying everything around me from the hot water to the sky and even a conversation with this random dude originally from Japan just drifting through CO with no job, no plan because he loves it. Side note, I meet so many “drifters” in Colorado. How y’all making this work exactly? Do you live in a universe void of these things called “bills?” Are you an alien? Ok…I wasn’t that high. Dude was in fact NOT an alien either in real life or my high off edibles brain.

I had the best night’s sleep since oh, I don’t know, March 16th, 2016 before Hank was born. Blissful night’s sleep and I woke up feeling great. Legit, no lie 5:30 am, feeling restored and like a million bucks. Hit the wine hard enough for a buzz and it takes me 2 ibuprofen and 3 cups of coffee to get my ass in gear. A little weed in my chocolate? Apparently, I’m up with the birds and refreshed with a newly found love of mornings. This shit does work miracles.

Considering how high only a half of a piece of chocolate got me I was glad I took the woman’s advice and didn’t go for a whole piece like the package recommends. The advice on edibles is “start low and go slow” for good reason. Edibles hit your system in an entirely different way than smoking marijuana does. The high takes longer to achieve but it can be much stronger while lasting longer. Edible consumption among tourists in Colorado is on the rise as are ER visits due to over consumption. Not surprising because considering how small a dose is and how long it takes until the high fully hits you if you aren’t careful this is easy to do. I mean who the hell only eats one tiny piece of a piece of chocolate? Or half of a cookie? Um, not my fat ass but respect these treats for the power they possess.

The next day I decided to try the gummies. We had a chill day of walking and shopping planned so I wanted to see how having just a little bit during the day would go. I didn’t want to get as high as the previous night so I literally took out a knife and cut the gummy into quarters. Yup. No joke. I told you I’m a lightweight. It is what it is. Laugh all you want. The gummies hit my system much faster and I was feeling it in about 30 minutes. It was kind of like that feeling if you’ve ever had a Xanax for anxiety but a lot better. The calm feeling I got from the gummy was better in that it felt natural and I felt a regained sense of calm and clarity. With a quarter of a piece, which I learned later on is called microdosing and quite effective for things like pain management and anxiety, I was chill and not exactly high. It was nice BUT I will fess up that I kind of overdid later in the day.

After our lovely day in town, I figured that since I had 5 milligrams the previous night I’d have another quarter of a gummy before dinner except I made the mistake of also having about 2 glasses of wine with dinner. This was a bad idea. I didn’t really think anything of it because I had seen people before who smoked, or had an edible or two and a few drinks and figured it was no big deal but since I was completely new to this and never really had THC in my system before it just wasn’t a good combination. I felt great until all of a sudden it hit me and I did not feel great. I wasn’t like tripping balls, lying on the floor convinced the bathroom towels could hear my thoughts, it was more like an ugh…I had too big of a meal and too much wine and I just want to lie down. It was unpleasant and kind of a bummer. I had no high, felt crappy and just wanted to call it a night.  The next day I googled information on edibles and found out how easy it is to overdo it and how alcohol can increase the effects of THC. I realized things went south after having the wine. In the future, I won’t be combining the two. I also read some crazy experiences people had really actually overdoing it by eating half a bar or a few cookies and was like damn…I guess that could have been worse. Side note: even after a crappy night I had NO “hangover.” I was up at 6 am, coffee in hand and off to the hot springs.

I have to say, even despite the rough night which was my own fault for not doing my research, trying THC edibles was kind of a high point (God…it’s just unavoidable with this post!) of the trip for me. It was a good time and I’d do it again on future trips to Colorado for sure. I remember when they first legalized recreational marijuana and I was like “whoa…boy…good luck” it seemed so wild but now I don’t get what the big deal is considering people throw back a few drinks legally to unwind all the time and no one bats an eye. Chill out, get a little high instead of buzzed and wake up WITHOUT a hangover? And the problem is….what exactly? In grandma’s day, there was cocaine in the cough syrup. Relax.

So what do you think? Yay or nay on the recreational marijuana? Before, I was indifferent. Just like, “meh not for me but you do you” but I learned on our trip hey, man don’t knock it till you try it.  Let the good times roll.




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